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A hierarchy of Jesuses?

19 January 2010 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in diary | 5 Comments »

I’d never considered, before today, the possibility that there might be a hierarchy of Jesuses.

Walking around in the city just a little while ago, I spotted a large sign set up outside a shop, which read:

TALLER

JESUS

The Almighty Tallest regard a lowly Invader

The Almighty Tallest regard a lowly Invader

Hmmm… If there’s a Taller Jesus out there, that suggests there might be a Tallest Jesus somewhere as well. Together with the Shortest (or, perhaps, “Least Tall”) Jesus — presumably the one we’re familiar with from all those icons, this suggest there are at least three Jesuses in total. This would leave the Holy Trinity as a Holy Quintity (or something), at the very least. Gosh, what a mess!

Now is the Tallest Jesus the Almighty Tallest? What implications does that have for the Irken Empire, who are led by not one but two Almighty Tallests?

Certainly, more research is required.

(“taller” is a Spanish word for “workshop” or “studio”)


  1. 5 Responses to “A hierarchy of Jesuses?”

  2. By Anthony Martin on 19 January 2010

    Yah. A word game.

  3. By Robin on 20 January 2010

    I especially like how you refrained from using “god” as an explative and instead used “gosh”.

  4. By Mike Gogulski on 20 January 2010

    @Robin: Never occurred to me, really :) The word “gosh” has strong echoes in me from hearing it in Negativland’s track “Guns” back in the days when I was taking a lot of acid: “Gosh, what excitement!”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtyZMRJbLq8

  5. By P.M.Lawrence on 22 January 2010

    The Axiom of Maria states: “One becomes two, two becomes three, and out of the third comes the one as the fourth”, or alternatively “Out of the One comes Two, out of Two comes Three, and from the Third comes the One as the Fourth”.

  6. By winston smith on 22 January 2010

    maybe taller jesus ought to try out with the NBA?


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