The Brag of the SubGenius. MP3 Audio, 5 minutes 25 seconds, 5MB. Read by Mike Gogulski aka Rabbi Guano Infusion, KSC (deceased).

–a fragment. Transcribed from a cassette tape recording made at a seance in 1973.

The Book of SubGenius -- Buy now!

“I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my NOSE! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I’ve been casting out the False Prophets; I’m busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a LOAF! For I speak ONLY the fucking TRUTH, and never in my days have I spoke other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear! I say, “Fuck’em if they can’t take a joke!” By God, “Anything for a laugh,” I say. I am the last remaining Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I’ll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the FIRST god damn water! Yes, I’m the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars! I drank the DEVIL under seven tables, I am too INTENSE to die, I’m insured for acts o’ God AND Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps! I CANNOT be tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear NO god damn uniform! Yes baby, I’m 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o’ teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-proteine tonsil wash! I’m a bacteriological weapon, I’m ARMED and LOADED! I’m a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug ME in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds in zero , COME AND GET ME! I’ve sired retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and EAT my dead; YAH-HOOOOO, I’m the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil’s hands are my IDEAL playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think BACKWARDS! I do it for FUN! My imagination is a FUCKING cancer and I’ll pork it before it porks me! They say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well, by God! I count to a godzillion and ONE! Yes, I’m the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic; I’m THICKER, HARDER, and MEANER than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I’ll freeze YOUR seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made TIME wait up for me bleed my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my SPOOR on the Rock of Ages, WHO’LL TEAR FLESH WITH ME, WHO’LL SPILL THEIR JUICE? WHO’LL GOUGE WITH ME, WHOSE CANDLE WILL I FART OUT? WHOOP! I’M READY! So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o’ wimp meat! I’m a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I’m a screamer and a laugher, I make a SPECTACLE of myself, I am a SIGHT! My physical type CANNOT be classified by science, my ‘familiar’ is a pterodactyl, I feed it dipshits!  I communicate without WIRES or STRINGS! I am a Thugee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I swam the BERMUDA TRIANGLE and didn’t get wet! I circumcise dinosaurs with my teeth and make ‘em leave a tip; I change tires with my TONGUE and my TOOL! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the SUN! I’m the big-footed devil of Level 14, who’ll come SHOE me? Where’s the robot giant who’ll try to blow me down? I’ve packed the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the MASS of my religion, I TAKE DRUGS! Yes, I’m a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before they’re picked off the TREE! SPACE monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe the PYRAMIDS off my shoes before I enter MY house. I’m FUEL-INJECTED, I’ll live forever and remember it afterwards! I’m IMMUNE!  I’m RADIOACTIVE! Come ON and give me cancer, I’ll spit up the tumor and butter my BREAD with the juice! I’M SUPERNATURAL, I bend CROWBARS with my meat ax and a thought! My droppings bore through the earth and erupt VOLCANOES in CHINA! Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen HINDOOS in Asia! YEEEE HAW! GUT BLOWOUT! I am a MORAY EEL, I am a KOMODO DRAGON, I am a KILLER WHALE BEREFT OF IT’S PUP! I have a triple backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me ALL your Slack! I told JESUS I wouldn’t go to church and He SHOOK MY HAND! I have my OWN personal saviors, I change ‘em every hour, I don’t give a fuck if there’s life after death, I want to know if there’s even any fucking SLACK after death! I am a god damn VISIONARY, I see the future and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat BLACK HOLES for breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle at my DNA with the sheer force of my mighty WILL! I steer my OWN god damn evolution! I ran ‘em out of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a PROFIT! I’m enlightened, I achieved “Nirvana” and took it HOME with me. YIP, YIP, YEEEEEEEE! I’m so ugly the Speed of Light can’t slow me down and  won’t tug at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I’ll make ‘em wait!  They’ll NEVER clean MY cage! Now give me some more of…”

(Tape runs out.)

          -a fragment.  Transcribed from a cassette tape recording
          made at a seance in 1973.
  "I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my NOSE!  Pardon my
language.  But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness!  Even in
the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out the False Prophets;  I'm
busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a LOAF!  For I speak
ONLY the fucking TRUTH, and never in my days have I spoke other than!  For my
every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear!  I say, "Fuck'em
if they can't take a joke!"  By God, "Anything for a laugh," I say.  I am the
last remaining Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future!  I'll drive
a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the FIRST god damn
water!  Yes, I'm the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars!  I
drank the DEVIL under seven tables, I am too INTENSE to die, I'm insured for
acts o' God AND Satan!  I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from
a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps!  I CANNOT be tracked on
radar!  I wear nothing uniform, I wear NO god damn uniform!  Yes baby, I'm 23
feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the
Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash!  I'm a bacteriological weapon, I'm
ARMED and LOADED!  I'm a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are
fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug ME in, the lights go out in
Hong Kong!  I weigh 666 pounds in zero gravity, COME AND GET ME!  I've sired
retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and EAT my dead; YAH-HOOOOO,
I'm the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo!  I pay no taxes!  The Devil's
hands are my IDEAL playground!  I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels
that turn are behind me; I think BACKWARDS!  I do it for FUN!  My imagination
is a FUCKING cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me!  They say a godzillion
is the highest number there is.  Well, by God!  I count to a godzillion and
ONE!  Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I
drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons!  I use a python for a prophylactic; I'm
THICKER, HARDER, and MEANER than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew!
I'll freeze YOUR seed before it hits the bathroom tile!  YEE!  YEEE!  I
kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made TIME wait up for me
bleed my lizard!  My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my SPOOR on
the Rock of Ages, WHO'LL TEAR FLESH WITH ME, WHO'LL SPILL THEIR JUICE?  WHO'LL
GOUGE WITH ME, WHOSE CANDLE WILL I FART OUT?  WHOOP!  I'M READY!  So step
aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat!
I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane!  I'm a screamer and a
laugher, I make a SPECTACLE of myself, I am a SIGHT!  My physical type CANNOT
be classified by science, my 'familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it dipshits!
I communicate without WIRES or STRINGS!  I am a Thugee, I am feared in the
Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag;  I swam the BERMUDA TRIANGLE
and didn't get wet!  I circumcise dinosaurs with my teeth and make 'em leave a
tip; I change tires with my TONGUE and my TOOL!  Every night I hock up a lunger
and extinguish the SUN!  I'm the big-footed devil of Level 14, who'll come SHOE
me?  Where's the robot giant who'll try to blow me down?  I've packed the
brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the
MASS of my religion, I TAKE DRUGS!  Yes, I'm a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves
right into my arm-veins before they're picked off the TREE!  SPACE monsters
cringe at my tread!  I wipe the PYRAMIDS off my shoes before I enter MY house.
I'm FUEL-INJECTED, I'll live forever and remember it afterwards!  I'm IMMUNE!
I'm RADIOACTIVE!  Come ON and give me cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and butter
my BREAD with the juice!  I'M SUPERNATURAL, I bend CROWBARS with my meat ax and
a thought!  My droppings bore through the earth and erupt VOLCANOES in CHINA!
Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen HINDOOS in
Asia!  YEEEE HAW!  GUT BLOWOUT!  I am a MORAY EEL, I am a KOMODO DRAGON, I am a
KILLER WHALE BEREFT OF IT'S PUP!  I have a triple backbone, I was sired by the
Wolf Man, give me ALL your Slack!  I told JESUS I wouldn't go to church and He
SHOOK MY HAND!  I have my OWN personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I
don't give a fuck if there's life after death, I want to know if there's even
any fucking SLACK after death!  I am a god damn VISIONARY, I see the future and
the past in comic books and wine bottles;  I eat BLACK HOLES for breakfast!  I
bend my genes and whittle at my DNA with the sheer force of my mighty WILL!  I
steer my OWN god damn evolution!  I ran 'em out of Heaven and sold it to Hell
for a PROFIT!  I'm enlightened, I achieved "Nirvana" and took it HOME with me.
YIP, YIP, YEEEEEEEE!  I'm so ugly the Speed of Light can't slow me down and
Gravity won't tug at my cuffs!  When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait!
They'll NEVER clean MY cage!  Now give me some more of..."
                           (Tape runs out.)

Right near the beginning of the discussion, I asked group members to indicate if they were criminals, by raising their hands, and led off by sticking mine up first.

Eventually, and rather quickly, every hand went up.

There is honor among thieves, though the “thievery” in play here is of the legal kind, not the moral kind (think: mp3). This represents and opportunity for building community among libertarians, which is largely ignored by the mainstream libertarian movement.

Camp attendees who are following my blog are encouraged to read “The penalty is always death” (which I presented in abbreviated form in several sessions anyway), and the linked “Clown suit defense” articles.

This brochure was originally written and published for the Movement of the Libertarian Left (MLL) by the late Samuel Edward Konkin III. This new edition has been minimally edited by Wally Conger.

This brochure was originally written and published for the Movement of the Libertarian Left (MLL) by the late Samuel Edward Konkin III. This new edition has been minimally edited by Wally Conger.

Tax is Theft! (and what to do about it)

Voiced by Mike Gogulski.

MP3, 6m41s, 6.1MB.

Download

Murray Rothbard’s classic essay from The Libertarian Forum in 1969, available as a scan of the newsletter at mises.org and worked up into a handout from invisiblemolotov.com.

Consistent libertarians support the revolutionary redistribution of property

No audio intro this time. 12 minutes, 13MB. Cat was on the rampage during recording.

Download:

Confiscation and the Homestead Principle.mp3

As one big file (MP3, 46m51s, 43MB):

• Direct download from nostate.com: The_Iron_Fist_Behind_the_Invisible_Hand.mp3
• .torrent file at mininova
• .torrent file at nostate.com

Broken into chapters:

• .torrent file at mininova
• .torrent file at nostate.com
• Direct downloads from nostate.com:
• 0-Audiobook Intro by Mike Gogulski.mp3 (2m24s, 1.9MB)
• 1-Introduction.mp3 (3.5s, 2.8MB)
• 2-The Subsidy of History.mp3 (24m9s, 22.1MB)
• 3-Ideological Hegemony.mp3 (9m36s, 8.8MB)
• 4-The Money Monopoly.mp3 (9m40s, 8.9MB)
• 5-Patents.mp3 (13m20s, 12.2MB)
• 6-Infrastructure.mp3 (5m15s, 4.8MB)
• 7-Military Keynesianism.mp3 (2m43s, 2.5MB)
• 8-Other Subsidies.mp3 (6m44s, 6.2MB)
• 9-Political Repression.mp3 (6m20s, 5.8MB)
• 10-Conclusion.mp3 (4m15s, 3.9MB)
• .m3u playlist (note: for local use, not for playing off the net!)

Someone use these to make a YouTube series and playlist!

If you are able, please download the files via BitTorrent, and re-seed them to infinity.

Text of my introduction to the recording:

Good morning, left-libertarian.

The voice you will hear for the next 88 minutes or so belongs to me, Mike Gogulski.

I am a stateless ex-American. I renounced my American citizenship in 2008 and I have been a voluntary exile since 2004, presently living in Bratislava, Slovakia. As of this recording in June 2009, I maintain a website at www.nostate.com, which you are invited to visit.

The words you will hear belong to all of humanity, but they were written by Kevin Carson, a leading contemporary thinker in mutualism and individualist anarchism, and Research Associate for the Center for a Stateless Society, c4ss.org. The essay, The Iron Fist Behind the Invisible Hand: Corporate Capitalism as a State-Guaranteed System of Privilege, was published in 2001, and is available online at Carson’s Mutualist Blog, from flag.blackened.net, and from Red Lion Press in print form.

For the recording, I have broken the essay into ten parts:

• Introduction
• The Subsidy of History
• Ideological Hegemony
• The Money Monopoly
• Patents
• Infrastructure
• Military Keynesianism
• Other Subsidies
• Political Repression
• Conclusion

I have attempted to read the text of Iron Fist as I have it in hand. Any deviations from the written text are my own.

It is worth noting for more mainstream libertarians and others not familiar with Carson’s work that one need not adopt Carson’s mutualism or his predictions regarding profit, rent and interest in a truly free market in order to find the analysis and historiography contained here of great value.

As one big file (MP3, 46m51s, 43MB):

• Direct download from nostate.com: Agorist_Class_Theory.mp3
• .torrent file at nostate.com
• .torrent file at mininova

Click to buy the book!

Broken into chapters:

• .torrent file at mininova
• .torrent file at nostate.com
• Direct downloads from nostate.com:
• 1-Audiobook Introduction by Mike Gogulski.mp3 (2m39s, 2.5MB)
• 2-Foreword by Brad Spangler.mp3 (4m21s, 4MB)
• 3-Introduction by Wally Conger.mp3 (4m10s, 3.8MB)
• 4-Ch1-The Failure of Marxism.mp3 (1m49s, 1.7MB)
• 5-Ch2-The Marxist Appeal.mp3 (3m55s, 3.6MB)
• 6-Ch3-Precursors to Marxist Class Theory.mp3 (1m39s, 1.5MB)
• 7-Ch4-Marxist Classes.mp3 (3m23s, 3.1MB)
• 8-Ch5-The Agorist Critique of Marxist Class Theory.mp3 (4m12s, 3.8MB)
• 9-Ch6-Libertarian Class Analysis.mp3 (2m27s, 2.3MB)
• 10-Ch7-Radical Libertarian Class Analysis.mp3 (5m20s, 4.9MB)
• 11-Ch8-Agorist Class Theory.mp3 (10m27s, 9.6MB)
• 12-Ch9-Agorist Solutions For Marxist Problems.mp3 (2m26s, 2.2MB)
• .m3u playlist (note: for local use, not for playing off the net!)

Someone use these to make a YouTube series and playlist!

If you are able, please download the files via BitTorrent, and re-seed them to infinity.

Text of my introduction to the recording:

Good morning, New Libertarian. Good morning, agorist.

The voice you will hear for the next 47 minutes or so belongs to me, Mike Gogulski.

I am a stateless ex-American. I renounced my American citizenship in 2008 and I have been a voluntary exile since 2004, presently living in Bratislava, Slovakia. As of this recording in May 2009, I maintain a website at www.nostate.com, which you are invited to visit.

The words you will hear belong to all of humanity, but they were written by Wally Conger, drawing on the unfinished work of Samuel Edward Konkin III, arguably the initiator of the agorist theory. The book, Agorist Class Theory: A Left-Libertarian Approach to Class Conflict Analysis, was published in 2006, both as a free online PDF and in print combination with Konkin’s seminal New Libertarian Manifesto.

After a foreword by veteran analyst and agitator Brad Spangler and an introduction by Wally Conger, the book consists of nine brief chapters:

• The Failure of Marxism
• The Marxist Appeal
• Precursors to Marxist Class Theory
• Marxist Classes
• The Agorist Critique of Marxist Class Theory
• Libertarian Class Analysis
• Radical Libertarian Class Analysis
• Agorist Class Theory (and finally)
• Agorist Solutions for Marxist Problems

I have attempted to read the text of Agorist Class Theory as I have it in hand. Any deviations from the written text – which you can find online at the website agorism.info – are my own. In the interest of brevity and due to its referential density, the Appendix – entitled, “Cui Bono? Introduction to Libertarian Class Theory”, written by Konkin in 1973 – has been omitted from this recording. The Appendix is available in the PDF and print versions of the book, and is well worth reading.

It is my hope that listening to Agorist Class Theory serves to raise your class consciousness, and that you not only adopt the class theory in looking at the world around you, but apply it to yourself as well.

After listening, take action.

Agora! Anarchy! Action!

UPDATED 3 June 2009: I have seeded and uploaded my own torrents, and linked to them here. Please switch to seeding/promoting these torrents if you wish to aid in wider distribution.

UPDATED 12 June 2009: Marcel Votlucka has created a YouTube playlist featuring the entire audio recording synchronized with the text of the book. Thanks Marcel!

As one big MP3 file (83m46s, 76.7MB):

• Direct download from nostate.com: New Libertarian Manifesto.mp3
• .torrent file at nostate.com
• .torrent file at mininova

Click to buy the book!

Broken into chapters:

• .torrent file at mininova
• .torrent file at nostate.com
• 0a Introduction.mp3 (1m42s, 1.6MB)
• 0b Preface.mp3 (2m48s, 2.6MB)
• 1. Statism – Our Condition.mp3 (8m57s, 8.2MB)
• 2. Agorism – Our Goal.mp3 (19m15s, 17.6MB)
• 3. Counter-Economics – Our Means.mp3 (23m15s, 21.2MB)
• 4. Revolution – Our Strategy.mp3 (19m55s, 18.2MB)
• 5. Action! Our Tactics.mp3 (7m51s, 7.2MB)

Someone use these to make a YouTube series and playlist!

Text of my introduction to the recording:

Good morning, New Libertarian. Good morning, agorist.

The voice you will hear for the next 85 minutes or so belongs to me, Mike Gogulski.

I am a stateless ex-American. I renounced my American citizenship in 2008 and I have been a voluntary exile since 2004, presently living in Bratislava, Slovakia. As of this recording in May 2009, I maintain a website at www.nostate.com, which you are invited to visit.

The words you will hear belong to all of humanity, but they were written by Samuel Edward Konkin III, arguably the initiator of the agorist theory. The book, New Libertarian Manifesto, was first published in 1980, and then updated in 1983.

After two, brief prefaces, the book consists of five chapters:

Statism: Our Condition
Agorism: Our Goal
Counter-Economics: Our Means
Revolution: Our Strategy
Action! Our Tactics

I have attempted to read the text of New Libertarian Manifesto as I have it in hand. Any deviations from the written text – which you can find online at the website agorism.info – are my own.

After listening, please take action.

Agora! Anarchy! Action!